age 14

Alexander Keith was on the Internet recently when he suddenly became very angry and unleashed some bad language you didn't even know he had.

Over the next few days, Alexander Keith was engaged in a titanic instant messaging battle, hurling insults at a former friend, and receiving hostile messages from a couple of kids you haven't even heard of. You finally had to restrict him from using the computer just to calm things down. Of course then there are always those messages on the cell phone...

1.)Q:  The transition to high school seems to have thrown Alexander Keith for a loop. He seems to get easily stressed out and angry or rebellious. Little insults from peers and small setbacks in his classes seem to have an exaggerated effect on him
A: You listen to Alexander Keith's troubles and try to provide handy solutions or advice >As a parent, it is important for us to lend an ear to Alexander in times of trouble or problems for him to have someone mature enough to ask advices from and for him to be able to feel secure and to have him develop his trust to his parents.

Alexander Keith tried out for the high school basketball team and made it! He practices his moves often in the driveway of the house.

You are pleased that Alexander Keith is having fun with the sport and you enjoy going to the games.

2.) Q: A student at Alexander Keith's school was caught with a knife and suspended last week. There have also been a couple of drug possession busts, and some fights, mostly among older graders. Alexander Keith has been a bit nervous about going to school lately.
A:You tell Alexander Keith that he doesn't need to worry, as long as he stays away from kids that start talking about violence or drugs. >As a parent, it is important for us to let Alexander Keith feel secure about his school and surroundings. So we tell him that he will be safe going to school as long as he stays away from kids who uses drugs and violence in order for him to not skip school and so that he won't fall into temptations of trying out drugs and violence.

Alexander Keith occasionally argues with you about issues such as bedtime, chores, curfew, clothing choices, music choices, etc., but otherwise you get along pretty well.

You know you aren't going to get anywhere by continuing the discussion, so you drop it and let him calm down for a while before speaking to him again.

3.)Q: Alexander Keith is looking forward to taking several art/design classes and is pleased that there are so many to choose from.
A:you encourage Alexander Keith to take the fine arts classes in the junior or senior year as a break from what might be a difficult schedule. >Since he is very interested in fine arts, as a parent I will let myself be involved in his interest and provide him with things that we will be needing to improve his skill.

Alexander Keith has a couple of grades that are below his ability level in a couple of subjects in the current progress report. You think his study habits need improvement.

You let Alexander Keith experience the consequences of the first poor progress report and then arrange a talk with a favorite teacher about study habits.

4.) Q: Alexander Keith has shown an increased interest in men's magazines and sexually related websites. He talks on the phone or e-mails his friends about the girls in his school. Recently you found a porn video that had been downloaded on the home computer. He just blushed and left the room, mumbling that he would get rid of it.
A: You ask Alexander Keith's opinion of girls from his class that you know(from middle school) or that you both happen to meet in the store. You also talk openly about sexual issues that come up in the news or on tv (such as birth control, STDs, gay marriages, etc), even if Alexander Keith says "you're grossing me out!" This way Alexander Keith will know that you are willing to talk about sex. >As a parent, i find this as a part of his growing up but I don't want him to do things without understanding what he is doing. Since he is already a teen, I will take this time to have conversations openly even on sexual issues for him to understand what is right and wrong and for him not to make mistakes or bad decisions in the future. Through this, he will know that he could openly express his thoughts and feeling to me so when he will need mature advices, he could come to me anytime and not feel shy about it.

5.) Q: Alexander Keith is a lot more interested in his appearance lately, and wants to wear certain clothes, shoes or hairstyles. From what you can tell, all of Alexander Keith's friends wear the same styles.
A: you give Alexander Keith some new ways to earn money around the house so he can afford to look cool. >As a parent, I find this way very helpful to both of us since we both could benefit from it. Apart from him earning money to buy his wants, he is also helping in cleaning the house and also through that way I am teaching him the value of hard work and money for him not to get spoiled.

6.) Q: After the transition to high school, Alexander Keith couldn't connect with friends from middle school. However, he made some new friends and become involved in a couple of clubs because his new best friend suggested they join together.
A: you are pleased that Alexander Keith is participating in clubs so soon, and you leave the choice up to him and try to be supportive. >As a parent, I respect my child's decision and let him join clubs he wants and support him. It is very important for me to let him know that I support his interest.

7.) Q: Alexander Keith has come to Dad claiming it is time for him to start shaving. When he proudly shows off his facial hair, you can sort of see the peach fuzz that might really need shaving in 6 months or so. He says that all his friends have started shaving already.
A: Dad explains to him that he shouldn't be shaving just because all his friends are, but he buys Alexander Keith an electric shaver anyway. > As a parent, i will provide him with things that we will be needing like for shaving because it is also a part of his proper hygiene.

8.) Q: Alexander Keith mentions that he had a long conversation with another student on a bus about all kinds of issues on which they disagreed, such as religion and politics. Alexander Keith listened to the other person's point of view, but when he came home, he wanted to tell you all about his own viewpoints.

A: You listen to Alexander Keith's view and  find that they are fairly close to your own political, moral, and spiritual views. You pat him on the head and say half jokingly, "So you have been listening to us all these years.!"
>As parents, we find it important to have conversations with our child regarding religion and politics and other social issues so that someday he will understand these issues and that he could make viewpoints of his own.

Alexander Keith's 30-year-old uncle has moved into the area from out of state and wants to reconnect after not seeing Alexander Keith for 5 years. The uncle is unmarried and wants to hang out with Alexander Keith and teach his favorite sport, tennis, to Alexander Keith.

Alexander Keith loved the uncle 5 years ago, and does hang out with him and play some tennis, but doesn't seem ready to form a closer relationship.

Alexander Keith and some of his friends went camping with a close friend's parents.

Alexander Keith had a great time, and learned to use a compass to navigate in the woods.

Over the summer, Alexander Keith had big plans to get some projects started, get involved more in sports or clubs, and hang out with friends.

He has gone on a few outings with friends and started one project at home, but sometimes complains of being bored. You remind him about the other plans and offer your help if needed.

Over the summer, Alexander Keith has been less cooperative with your requests and is spending more and more time with friends. Sometimes you are able to shuttle Alexander Keith and his friends around, but it isn't always possible for either parent to monitor Alexander Keith because of your jobs.

You let him go, but require that he always be reachable by cell phone, and if he is not available, or does not follow either parent's instructions about being home at a certain time, or lies about where he has been, he gets grounded.